Friends and Therapy:
So I'm feeling much better this morning, than I was last night. Which has start to become a pattern for me. If I get depressed it almost always occurs at night, and usually when I'm about to go to sleep (also weekends it almost always gets worse). Sometimes it keeps me from going to sleep because I'm avoiding the sleeping part, but then the later I stay up the worst it gets. It's a wonderful self defeating cycle. I'm reminded of my post on Discipline, and how I should just go to bed and I know it will leave me overall happier.
But that's not the topic of my musings today. Today I wanted to acknowledge to factors that I believe are contributing to an overall increase in my happiness: friends and therapy.
I started Therapy last week after finally figuring out the most cost effective way to do it (yay for virtual appointments!). And the first meeting was already a god-send. There is definitely some peace that comes from discussing your thoughts and feelings with someone - especially someone who is trained to hear you out and listen regardless of what those thoughts and feelings are, and help you process them. I got to let out a bit of my pent up frustration related to how I've felt about communication today. I won't get into the specifics but I believe I'm holding on to a lot of resentment at how one sided it has felt to me - and as I discuss that resentment and let it go, I start to see ways I can demand/encourage more listening for myself from those in my circle.
I've also pursued and found a group of good friends. Right now its 2 close friends who I climb with fairly regularly, and only just recently has it grown to a large group of folks that could potentially become more tight-knit. All of us are rock climbers, so we all have some common interest, and its really fun to get out and say hi to people who aren't related to work or school in any way. I'm finding that the days I go climbing (which is now most days) I feel a LOT better than the days I don't. That COULD be the physical exercise... that's possible. But I believe it is the friends, the feeling that I do belong at least in some group, and the belief that they won't judge me too harshly even if I'm stupid sometimes. That last piece in particular - is something that I think I really need. Because I am stupid sometimes, and nowadays it feels like whenever you make a mistake of any kind (particularly online) there's not a lot of forgiveness or understanding. Instead it's a lot of hate and vilification, paired with pretty long memories.
So, friends and therapy. Two great starting places for improving happiness I think. Kinda seems obvious now that I'm writing it down, but sometimes that's what it takes!
Today's Subjective Happiness Scale Score: 4 / 7
Instructions: For each of the following statements and/or questions, please circle the point on the scale that you feel is most appropriate in describing you.
1. In general, I consider myself
not a very happy person 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6 , 7 a very happy person
2. Compared to most of my peers, I consider myself
less happy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 more happy
3. Some people are generally very happy. They enjoy life regardless of what is going on, getting the most out of everything. To what extent does this characterization describe you?
not at all 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 a great deal
4. Some people are generally not very happy. Although they are not depressed, they never seem as happy as they might be. To what extent does this characterization describe you?
not at all 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 a great deal
Scoring:
To score the scale, reverse code the 4th item (i.e., turn a 7 into a 1, a 6 into a 2, a 5 into a 3, a 3 into a 5, a 2 into a 6, and a 1 into a 7), and compute the mean of the 4 items. Norms are available in the reference below, as well as in many other publications that have used the scale (see PsycInfo).
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